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R U Rough and Ready? (Jun
2010)
Lan Sluder reports that about 19 out of 20 Gringos go back
home after a year (or less) in Belize. I think one of the problems
is, they're not "Rough and Ready" for the Third World in general, and
Belize in particular. So RU Rough and Ready? Here are
some thoughts.
I've been back here in America (the Beautiful) for about five
years and I often observe behavior that shows me that a person is not Rough and
Ready.
Microbiophobia. Are you afraid of
germs? When I was working out at the Y in Colorado Springs, they had antiseptic
sprays and towels so you could wipe down equipment after you used it. Some
people scrupulously wiped down everything I touched!! At that time, I
realized that these people wouldn't make it in Belize!! Since then,
I have discovered a national epidemic of this. Every store that has
shopping carts has a dispenser with antiseptic wipes, so you won't get any nasty
germs from your friends and neighbors.
Belize doesn't have any wipe-dispensers! It has
spiders, ants, snakes, ants, scorpions, ants, poisonous trees and bushes,
and.... ants. There are ways to keep those things out of your
house*, but they live everywhere else. Are you ready for that?
Morals. Many parents are
not married. Marriage is a formality that comes "later."
Fathers seem to understand that it is their duty to support a child that they
have fathers, and they are very good about that. Not because they're
married to the woman, but because they understand that it's the right thing to
do. Are you ready for that?
Morals. I learned at my
mother's knee that stealing was bad. By and large, Belizeans don't learn
that. They (eventually) learn that it's bad to get caught. The
communists have spread the idea that if I have something that you don't have,
and you want it, it's OK to steal it from me -- because I have so much
stuff. So... you should have burglar bars, a good fence (keep the gate
LOCKED!!) and a barking dog. Put a chain & lock on your butane tank.
(It is legal tender!) Are you ready for that?
The Final Frontier. Belize
is typical "third world." It is a lot like the Old
West. You could go watch Back to the Future 3, but a better test is to
watch one of
my three favorite movies. Waterhole #3
. If you are somehow morally outraged by this movie, DON'T MOVE TO
BELIZE. You don't have the sense of humor and adventure it takes to
survive here!!
* Wipe everything down with Chlorox® to keep the
ants out. Spray all the corners with BOP®. Never
ever sleep under a palapa roof without a canopy over your bed!
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