Yesterday, I was downtown and decided to check out the New Improved King’s Chef.  Sam had told me that the Bronco Assistant Coach who bought the place from him sold out after a couple of years to someone else. 

 

The place looked clean as a whistle, and at 12:24 in the afternoon, it had one customer!  The waitress handed me a menu and asked what I’d like to drink.

      “Diet Coke”

      “Pepsi OK?”

      “OK,” and she served me a glass of Pepsi.

 

I studied the menu.  It had “The Thing” at the top of the menu.  A Thing cost $7.95 and a half order was $5.95.  (Double Sam’s prices.)   The cook and the waitress studied me, expectantly.

      “I’ll have a half a Green Thing” I said.

      “IT’S NOT A GREEN THING,” they said in chorus.  “IT”S JUST A THING.”

      “You mean you don’t have a Red Thing?” I asked incredulously.

      “No,” said the cook, “We don’t have red chili!”

      “But we have the best green chili in the world” said the waitress proudly.

 

I thought for a minute about a diner that doesn’t serve red chili. 

      “We’ll see. ” I said.  “Ok, a half a Thing.”

      “It’s good, but it’s really hot,” the waitress warned.

I thought about explaining about the habeñero peppers in Belize and decided that they wouldn’t be receptive. 

      “What kind of meat do you want?” asked the cook.  “Ham, bacon, or sausage?”

      “Hamburger,” I said, because that’s what a Green Thing normally had.

      “No hamburger!” the waitress says.

      “You can have a hamburger patty but it’ll cost you a dollar extra!” the cook said belligerently.

      “You’ve really changed things a lot, haven’t you?” I said.  “I think I’ll just forget it.”

      “Yes, we changed things!” said the cook. “That’s why we were voted the best diner in the world in 2002!”

      “Yes,” I shoulda said.  “That’s why the place is practically empty at 12:30 on a Thursday afternoon.”

 

I shoulda said, but I didn’t.  They snatched up my fork, napkin, and the untouched glass of Pepsi and I left. 

 

Some things shouldn’t change, but they always do, don’t they?